my sister suggested to me on the phone last night that i write more of the positive outcomes i have seen since we started this process with the experts at new hope and with our therapist, mr. max. this blog has seemed to be more of an "outlet" for me when things are rough. so i'll do my best to give a fair perspective.
so let me tell you the positive outcomes we have had since july.
for those of you who want your kids to behave better. to listen to you the first time you ask. to be obedient and respectful. keep in mind, this process is a lot easier if:
1. you start when your children are young! like SUPER young! kids are so much more capable than we think. like my two year old daughter, macey. she gets up in the mornings, eats her breakfast, and then starts her chores. they include: putting her books away from quiet time, getting dressed, brushing her teeth. she does these things BY HERSELF. it's not that i'm not willing to help her. she just likes to do them on her own. kids are far more capable than we think they are!
2. your child does not have a reactive attachment disorder OR a sibling with this disorder. :) this process is much harder on cameron than my other two kids and it takes A LOT longer! but for the "healthy" kids, it's way faster and they catch on pretty quick.
3. you are CONSISTENT. you hate to give children a consequence if they don't listen the first time you ask. but how can you expect them to do that, if you don't expect it? if you give them ten reminders, they will take the opportunity to allow you to do that every time. if you don't give any reminders, they won't require them. :)
so although this process is much more extensive for our family, simply teaching our kids to be obedient and respectful didn't take long for any of them. maybe a few weeks at most. and yes, they do choose to be disrespectful sometimes (ESPECIALLY during times of change), but i know what to do with consequences when they choose that. so don't be discouraged, thinking this is too much to do. you will have to give up a few weeks of your "normal routine." but it won't take all that long for them to get the hints and start to realize it's more fun to be respectful and obedient to mom than not!
although this way of parenting is MUCH more involved and harder short term, the benefits outweigh the struggles BY FAR! i am a happier mother, wife, friend, and person in general. seriously. ask my husband how much better we get along. no. i'm serious! ask my family how much more pleasant i am to talk to. ask my friends how much more calm i am. my house is. my family is. seriously. i am, i would say, one hundred times happier than i used to be. my family is one hundred times happier than we ever have been. it has been well worth it! and i thank god that he led me to kasey and lauralee at new hope 5 months ago. i am forever indebted to them for the things they have taught me and continue to teach me via email, gchat, and skype. :)
so here's to a new blog. i'm glad i started this... because i always hesitated to publish on my family blog about this for fear that people didn't want to read my journal entries about my struggles. so now they can be somewhere separate and i can keep it separate from my family blog.
You are so strong. My son is three and a half and he has a lot of anger and rage. At times he is very well behaved and loving but he throws fits at the drop of a hat and those fits turn into rage. I know I am not consistent with punishments and I do give him too many reminders. I also hate that I yell at him when he does start the rage. They say teach with love. I would love a guide to help me learn to discipline my kids better.
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