New Hope 2

Cameron is doing well. He is in the "New Hope 2" program that they just started about a month ago here.

"New Hope 1" is very structured and tight. They work with the kids to teach them to understand boundaries, to let go of their anger and to trust adults. It is what we have been doing for the past 8 1/2 months.

At "New Hope 2," they still have the same expectations of respect and obedience. But they have more freedom. It's not quite as structured and strict... more like a classroom setting. So they start to open up the boundaries a little bit for them... as much as they can handle it and still be obedient and respectful. They get to do some activities together as a group and start to interact with other children. They are taught how to interact appropriately. Remember, this is a relationship disorder... they do not know how to be socially appropriate with other people without feeling that need to "control" them. It's more of a transitional place to help them prepare to go to public school, have friends over, go to a friend's house, etc.

Cameron is much softer this time around. He isn't fighting for the control frantically like he was here at New Hope last summer. He isn't angry and doesn't freak when they correct him on behaviors or work he does. He actually told me this morning that he liked Kasey. WHAT?

He has been experiencing a lot of anxiety here though. I think he is struggling with handling the differences between how I run our house, how New Hope 1 is run (which is upstairs here at New Hope), and how New Hope 2 is run (which is downstairs here at New Hope). He wants to do everything perfectly and panics that he isn't doing it "correctly" or "perfectly." But he is learning to relax and settle inside. He is handling simple school work, group activities, and corrections pretty well. I have gotten feedback from his teachers that I have done great with him at home and that he is healing. YAY!

Keep in mind, this is a LONG process. Just because Cameron has a good day, or a good week, doesn't mean he is better. It is a long, difficult, and painful journey for him and us, as his parents. It is a roller coaster and marathon. It is very "up and down" for him. I always think it's funny when people say, "I hope he gets better sooner versus later." It's a marathon. Not a sprint. And I did say the same thing at first. I just wanted him better. I wanted this process to be 6-12 months like the therapist told us. But it hasn't been. And it won't be. It's not like we magically hit the 6 month, 1 year, 2 year, or 4 year mark and BOOM, he is better. It takes as long as it needs to take, and I have accepted that now. And he will probably struggle with some things for the rest of his life.

But he is doing so well here, and I am doing so well. It really make me want to move to Utah. I love the feeling here at New Hope. It is so calm and peaceful. I love working with the other kids too. I still have some learning to do, but I love it here. I have been bringing Avery with me almost every day. I need to be here. I want to be here. Someday. :)

I used to think I wanted to be a Personal Trainer. I thought that was my passion and love in life. Teaching other people how to exercise and eat well and get into shape. I still love this and would love to do it one day. But I am starting to realize that my other passion is going to be helping other people who have children with RAD and other behavior issues. I would love to live down here and spend time at the school helping. Like I said.... someday!