i was thinking about it earlier. i get down, wishing i didn't have to deal with this. wishing that we could live a "normal" life. as i was crying to tyler this morning before he left for work (and tyler hiding me from cameron so he wouldn't have the satisfaction of seeing me sad), i said that. "sometimes i wish we could just live a normal life." and then the thought immediately came to my mind, "tiffany. what is normal? no one lives the "normal" life." i got thinking...
i know/know of people that:
*have a child with autism.
*have children with other behavioral/mental/physical disorders.
*can't get pregnant after years of trying.
*are hurt mentally, emotionally, physically by their spouses. people that don't have a job. *people are losing their homes or have already lost it.
*have lost a child, spouse, close family member.
and it occurred to me that i need to do the best i can to not get down. to be fiercely grateful for all that i have been given. yes, i do have my "cup." my struggles. my hardships. i have a son with rad. but really... i am SO blessed!
i have...
*a husband who loves me. our relationship has NEVER been better than it is now. EVER! our son no longer has the control of mine and my husband's relationship in his hands. he doesn't get between us anymore.
*three children (and soon to be four)
*a healthy body that can exercise, carry babies, perform basic functions (even though i have gained close to 30 lbs recently).
*education- one i'm especially grateful for that the lord led me to 4 months ago... education about my son and his disorder. and boy am i grateful the lord led me to new hope and mr. max BEFORE this baby came so i could become a healthier mom.
*a job (tyler's). in this economy, we feel so blessed to not only have a great paying job, but to have people seeking him out several times in the past year since he graduated, trying to recruit him to come work for their company.
*a home (even if it's not "mine").
*money to meet our needs and some wants
*the gospel and temple. oh where would i be without it! surely... an absolute disaster.
*the atonement of jesus christ. that i can mess up and try to do and be better next time. that's what this life is all about.
*family. i love my little one. but it's really not so little anymore. we're soon to be a family of 6. holy crap!
just to name a few... i have a lot to be grateful for. and i need to remember, that even if i can't "see" people's struggles on the outside, they have them.
yes sometimes i get bitter and wish things were different as well for me but then I have to think of others who have it so much worse and i feel better. It's a shame children have to have problems like that and why it needs to even happen. One of life's mysteries I guess.
ReplyDeleteWe definitely all have struggles. You seem to have a hard one yourself. Im not as brave as you to put mine on my blog but just know you are not alone :). It is definitely great to remember all the good things going on in your life.
ReplyDeleteI so agree!! I have been posting "gratitude posts" every day this month and it's been hard to pick just ONE each day! I'm so blessed! And I'm so aware that I need to be grateful all of the time, not just around Thanksgiving. I love the way you put it here. FIERCELY grateful. We really do need to feel that way. Every thing we have is a gift from our Father in Heaven. And you're so right! I have my own trials in life. But would I trade them with anyone else? The truth is no. I would never. As heartbreaking as some of them are, I know it could be so much worse. Thanks for the reminder!!
ReplyDeleteLife is one big struggle sometimes, but counting our blessing helps put things in perspective doesn't it. If we concentrate on the growth we experience it can make it all worth it. Our Heavenly Father has a good plan designed for each of us individually...if we follow His will not our own..love you! You have done a terrific job so far, and will continue down the same path I'm sure. Keep up the great work Tiff and Tyler!
ReplyDeleteLove you Tiff! Keep up the good work. I think about you often and admire how much you love those kids and are willing to sacrifice for them. Sarah
ReplyDelete